Well, it's that time of the week again. I had an utterly...fantastic...afternoon today - the entire population of the world turned out, late as always, to enthrall me with their tales of woe and disability. Luckily for you all, however, it did give me quite a few statements for tonight’s entry. It is without further ado, therefore, that I present to you the top disability quotes of the day.
Patients written response to the question: "What type of employment did you have before applying for disability?"
"Fast foot clerk."
Me: "So you say you worked a lot of jobs in the past year. Was there something that caused you to get fired from those jobs?"
Elderly Black lady: "Well I was working at Japanese Steakhouse from January until July, but then they fired me because they realized I wasn't Asian."
Me: "So what keeps you from working?"
Muscle-bound teenage male: "Well, it hurts my back if I try and lift over 100 lbs."
Me: "Any problems lifting lighter objects?"
Man: "Nope, just really heavy ones."
Patient's written response to the question, "How does your disability keep you from doing things you used to be able to perform?"
"Both of my hands are unable to grasp real good, even though I can grip good with my right hand."
Me: "So tell me what's keeping you from working."
Middle-aged woman: "Well, I read a medical textbook, and it sounds like I have heart failure. So I put a 2-3 lbs weight limit on myself, and no one will hire me."
Have a good weekend!
-DD
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Perhaps if the building or at least the outside door to your building was labeled people would not be so late.
ReplyDeleteHello there! Still miss ya. Kid with old laceration to eyelid,to nurse "My dad said you should take a wire brush and scrub the cut back open then sew it up. Nurse to kid,"really? What do YOU think about that?" Kid,"my dad said you don't know what you're doing." Nurse,"is your father an educated man?" Kid,"well, he has been in prison for 10 years." Nurse musing,"A WIRE brush?
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