Friday Night Quotes

Woohoo, Friday....you know what that means.  It's time for Friday Night Quotes!  Tonight's entry is a good mix of quips from both Disability and the Juvie, so I think you'll be entertained.  So, without further ado...

Me:  "Are you able to bathe and dress yourself without difficulty?"
Woman:  "So sure, but if I take a bath, my husband has to watch.  I think he likes it."

Patient's written response to the question "Why did you condition stop you from working?"
"I didn't want to go to work because if I did, my legs started moving, and I don't like that."

Lady:  "My knee arthuritis is so bad, it even keeps me from sitting at a table."
Me:  "It wouldn't happen to be a round table, would it?"
Lady:  "Oh no, it's square."
Me:  "Ok, just checking."

Juvie kid:  "I'm really allergic to poison ivy.  Like this one time, I was running from the police, and hid in a bush...but the bush was really poison ivy."
Me:  "That sounds terrible."
Kid:  "Yeah, it was pretty bad, but next time I'm running from the cops, I'll know what bush to not hide in."

That same kid asked the question, "If you're asleep, can a dog smell you?"

Nurse:  "Unfortunately, the test results show that you're positive for Gonorrhea."
Teenage male:  "Are you kidding me?  How is that possible?"
Nurse:  "Have you been having sex?"
Male:  "Yeah, but only with one girl at a time.  I thought you couldn't get an STD unless you had multiple partners."
Nurse:  "That's in total...not multiple partners at one time."
Male:  "Ah crap."

Have a good weekend,
-DD