Tuesday Quotes

Good morning! Sorry for no post yesterday – we had a full day in the office, and amazingly everyone showed up. I’m going to try and make Tuesday the new quote day, so it’ll hopefully offset some of the more serious entries I’ve put up in the past week. That said, on to the blog!


Me: “So tell me why you can’t work.”
Witch-looking lady: “My back hurts too much.”
Me: “What caused it to start hurting?”
Lady: “Well, I was attending the local Renaissance fair, and I was hit by a runaway horse.”

Me: “Do you see or hear things others don’t?”
Man: “Sometimes I see Charlie Brown…or at least I think it’s Charlie Brown, it could just be some crazy white kid.”

Me: “So what caused to you become depressed?”
Older lady: “My cat was eaten by a cougar.”
Me: “A cougar? Do you live out in the country?”
Lady: “No, I live in an apartment.”
Me: “So how do you know it was a cougar?”
Lady: “What else could’ve happened? One day my Kitty was there, the next day she wasn’t.”
Me: “…Well, ok then.”
Lady: “I mean, it could’ve been a Lynx or something…maybe a wolf.”
Me: “…”

Patient’s written response to the question “How does your condition limit your ability to work?”
“My head hurts so I smoke pot. When I smoke pot I can’t concentrate. So I can’t work.”
Have a good rest of your week!
-DD