Benedictus

Well, as of tomorrow, I will officially be on vacation until July 1st. My wife and I haven’t been anywhere in the last four years, so we’re taking some time off before residency starts up again, and are going to tour around and live a little before I get back to the grind. As a benediction, I thought I would give you all some quotes to tide you over until July comes around. To the quotes!

Patient’s written response to the question, “What did you do before you became disabled?”
“I used to take care of my pets, but my precious little friend (Brewster the pug) died.”

Patient’s written response to the question, “How has your disability changed your lifestyle?”
“I used to be an amateur gourmet chef -according to mom- but now I can’t be one.”

Patient’s written response to the question, “Are you able to manage your finances?”
“If I had money I could. I had money, but my stupid ex-wife took it all.”

That same patient’s written response to the question, “How did you become disabled?”
“My wife torpedoed me with my doctor.”
If someone could explain that to me, I would much appreciate it

Me: “How does your diabetes keep you from working?”
Man: “After I got laid off, I figured the only thing I could do was porn…but now I can’t even do that.”
Me: “…”

Have a good rest of your week, I’ll be back soon!
-DD